my thoughts on the plane ride back to brooklyn


This was a photo trip but it’s so much more than photos. I mean yes, this whole opportunity came about because of photography. Something that I was introduced to back in college. To be honest I don’t know why I even signed up for the class. Maybe I was interested in photography but just didn’t realize it yet. But in all actually I probably thought it was an easy credit to pass the time because all I really cared about was playing basketball. Little did I know, that class would be far from easy. 

Now photography is an obsession of mine. It’s part of who I am and I can’t remember the last time I left my house without my camera. I can’t even remember the last time I left my camera in my camera bag. Seriously. Even on the way to the London Heathrow Airport I again realized it was stupid to not have my camera ready, even if I am carrying luggage. I hardly made it through two tube stops before life was saying shoot, shoot, shoot! 

I never know when life is going to pull me in such a way. I think that is the best part about it all. I went from thinking that photography has to be pre meditated to it being completely instinctual. I had not idea that was even possible. I have no idea that even lived inside of me. But it does, and oh is that feeling so alive. It’s the greatest feeling that I get over and over again. That feeling not only leads me photographically but it leads my life. That’s because now I realize everything I do is in sync and on one accord. All of this work that I’m doing is greater than me and part of my life’s purpose. 

For me, photography is a buildup of everything I am. It’s a buildup of my past experiences, relationships, friendships, visions, and how I understand and interact with the would around me. This is why I say this was a photo trip but so much more than photos. 

I’m not a photo, you’re not a photo…but instead we are all life. That understanding is the greatest of all. With that thinking I know that life is always new, and that makes the photographic exploration endless and limitless. 

Instead of saying this is what a photo is, this is what a photo looks like… I’m looking out to the world and living to figure out what a photo can be. I’m interested in learning and knowing new life, and new life exist only in the unknown. I had to let go of everything that I thought I knew in order to know this life. I had to let go in order to believe this way of living. 

This was a photo trip but so much more than photos. 

This is another chapter in the books. Another month that I lived life fearlessly, another challenge that I overcame, another story that I’m able to share with you. 

Its true that anyone can push the button - anyone has the finger. But the eye - that is another matter. Franks technique, characteristic of himself, it is fast bold sure eminently unfussy and in a sense seems almost contentious of all photo technique. Like an unselfconscious master, and it is a joy to watch. I could compare it to the action of professional. If that were a hammer in his hand he would drive the nail in one or two hard fast perfect strokes… But not usually careful. There would be hammer mark in the wood and the boards would be joined forever.
- Walker Evans, 1957 

The primary problem is to learn to be your own toughest critic. You have to pay attention to intelligent work, and to work at the same time. You see. I mean, you’ve got to bounce off better work. It’s matter of working.
- Garry Winogrand

365 and beyond

what a journey.. i don’t even really know where to begin. when i first began to take self-portraits i just thought it would be something fun and challenging to do, i didn’t really think much about it. early in the process it began to take on a life of it’s own. i didn’t want to create the same image everyday so I began to look at my days with a whole new light, which ultimately helped me look at myself in ways that I never had before. the project manifested to being a study of myself and a search to finding out what it means to be me and what it’s like to live here. it taught me to have a camera on me at all times, which helped me with my street photography. it challenged me to be vulnerable and to take risk, and that’s how i began to use all analog cameras and process my own b/w film. along with that came writing everyday, because i would have to note where and when the images were taken and the setting used to make the image. 

i didn’t make it through the entire 365 days but i’m so proud of the body of work that i did make. more importantly i’m happy with what i learned and what i’ll take away from it. i can honestly say i’ve grown so much from it and i’m excited about photography/life more than ever. photographing myself naked helped me evolve like none other. it helped me break out and accept myself for who i am, physically, mentally, and creatively. it feels good to not look for acceptance from the outside world, but to create out of the framework of who i am, straight from the core. once i got to that point, nothing really mattered and it transcended tremendously throughout my 365 and beyond. 

for me, photography is about an experience and a process. in particular i’m interested in the transformation of form and light and the problem that it creates to evoke a feeling. photography has simply freed me, and it’s the best feeling ever. 

Winogrand spoke often of freedom…

which he considered an absolute value. one had first to have the liberty to be what one was, unenslaved by what one was expected to be, or taught one was expected to be. “it’s all a matter of how much freedom you can stand,” implying that freedom was not only the greatest of gifts but one that had a hight cost. It could not just be enjoyed, but one had to be borne, and you might bear it only if you saw that really, you had little power at all. “you have to realize that you are nothing before you can be free.” you have to first accept how small you were, to let chaos carry you off and make you its own, and only if you did that might there possibly occur an unexpected inversion, whereby you strangely found yourself growing large. 

winogrand sought not to control but to submit to photography and the world as far as he could, and not to get novel pictures but to get closer to raw, unknowable life.
- john szarkowski on garry winogrand

Rog Walker / Richard Averdon Inspired // Portrait 
warming up 
*film is how i began shooting, it feels good getting back into it.
*masha for @a7nyc 
@A7NYC (J.Kissi)
*new A7 camera accessories are out today, make sure you stop by here to check it out. quality gear from great folks.